Today is April 13, 2014. You are due to arrive in 23 short days. You will be considered "full term" on Tuesday.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have felt more emotions than I can count. Emotions ranging from the most intense excitement I can explain in anticipation of meeting you to the most anxiety I can describe because I'm about to meet you.
I am anxious because I can't fathom what it will be like to see your face, hold you for the first time, hear your cry and know I am the one who will be ultimately responsible for making you content. I can't fathom how I will feel the first time you're placed in my arms and I know that I am responsible for your well-being and happiness for the rest of my life. This incredible responsibility is scary because I want to only do what's right for you always and I just know I am destined to mess up at times. I want you to feel loved, supported, fulfilled and happy every day of your life. I know that is an unrealistic expectation because you are destined to have bad days, but on those days - I want to be the person you will rely on the most.
I am excited for obvious reasons. I am about to meet the most important person in my life and my forever best friend. Excited to teach you and excited to learn the lessons you will teach. I am excited for the differences you will bring to our day to day lives. We can't wait to give you a bath, dress you in your precious clothes, introduce you to your loving family, and become a family of three. These are just the most immediate instances that give me feelings of excitement - I know this ride is just beginning!
I have also felt very "out of body" lately in terms of my feelings about my physical appearance. I don't want you to feel badly about this because you will be so worth it! I just want to remember these days, how I felt, and how I looked. My feet swell to the size of balloons daily, and I am gaining weight so quickly (45 pounds so far!), even though Dr. Wai says you only weigh 6 pounds and 6 ounces as of three days ago. I sleep with six pillows, a heating pad, and an ice bag every night. Your daddy helps me off the couch, out of bed, and tucks me in every night!
Grandma and Grandpa Barad just left our house a couple of hours ago. We had one more weekend together just us before you arrive, but we talked about you all weekend. None of us can imagine how our lives are about to change - but we just can't wait to find out. Grandma did all of our laundry, cleaned up the house, and spoiled us as usual. Grandpa helped dad plant tomatoes and they cooked a great meal together. We watched the Rangers and just hung out. Grandma also bought you so many new books for your library and we picked out your outfits for your newborn pictures that will be taken about four days after you're born. Grandma picked out the beautiful hat on the left.
Here is your dad with your diaper bag! He has had is packed for days. Also, your infant car seat cover came in. We are ready for you.
Here is a video of your last sonogram. Can't wait to see you soon - May 6 or (hopefully) sooner.
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