We were in for some of the best and scariest moments of our lives after we brought you home from the hospital. Daddy and I could have read every book about bringing a newborn home from cover to cover and not possibly been prepared for what was about to happen in the first couple of days of your life at home at 4616 Sandera Lane. You were dressed so cute on the way home, a precious pink outfit complete with a matching hat that I decided against putting on you because you were too tiny.
While in the hospital, you were pretty good about breast feeding. You were a little fussy and we had to send you to the nursery both nights, but manageable. If mommy hadn't had a C-Section and needed rest, we would have kept you in the room with us. Once we got home, though, it was a completely different story. You were trying so hard to get nourishment from me, but I wasn't producing enough milk for you. I didn't realize this until you had been home for about two days. You cried and cried and cried. Not only did you cry, but you screamed! Your precious face was red, your mouth wide open, your legs were straight out and your little fists were clenched almost constantly. It made mommy and daddy crazy because we couldn't figure out what we were doing wrong! We wanted more than anything to make you happy and content, but it just wasn't happening. You looked so miserable and sad and that paired with mommy's hormones was a lethal combination. I felt so horrible because I said things like "I can't do this..." and I felt horribly guilty that I couldn't pacify you. I had written for months about how my number one goal was to make you as happy as I possibly could. Everyone told me "you only have to feed, love, and change a newborns' diapers and they are happy". Well, everyone lied.
The first two nights of your time at home were spent completely in your nursery. Your daddy would lay on the floor of your nursery while I would attempt to feed you. It was a vicious cycle of you trying to eat, crying, screaming, changing a mostly dry diaper, and starting over again. It wasn't until the third day of you being home unhappy and exhausted that daddy had a wonderful idea. He asked me to try to use the breast pump to see how much milk you were getting. I pumped for 45 minutes and only got about half an ounce. I was starving my baby! I had a meltdown immediately after that because I felt so guilty. We immediately tried giving you Enfamil Newborn formula and you sucked down 2 ounces in record time! Here are some of the faces you made over the course of the first two days at home.
You were precious and so happy afterwards. You haven't really cried since we made the switch to formula. You cry only when you're hungry and you took to a routine so quickly! You appreciated the routine we think and we are so glad you're happy and healthy. You were also going to the doctor frequently in the first few days because before we left the hospital, the doctor tested you and said you had a minor case of jaundice. The first visit to the doctor, you were being breastfed, the second we had you on formula and you had gained 11 ounces in five days and the jaundice was completely gone. I felt confident that we had made the right decision for you and for our family. Daddy had a couple of days to really enjoy the routine and happiness until he had to go back to work. He was off work for a week and a half after you were born.
Once we had you settled in a good routine, we felt ready to have lots of visitors. You are surrounded by so many people who love you! Gigi stayed with mommy and daddy for a little over a week after you were born and then Neena came to stay with us! While Neena was here, you had a ton of visitors including - Grammaw and Popa Allen, Poppy Kirk and Uncle Hayden, Aunt Pat and Uncle Kenny, Cheryl and Bruce, Aunt Kristen and Aunt Meagan, Uncle Josh and your cousins, Gavin, Brody, Mattison and Landreigh. We had so much fun letting you meet the most important people in your life. You will soon get to meet the other side of your family, I can't wait for that! On this day, I cried because I was overwhelmed with a kind of love I have never experienced before. I was so in love with you and I could literally feel the love that was being showered over you and us. It was indescribable how blessed and happy I felt that day. Best day of my life and you were at the center of it all - my reason for smiling and pride.
Some "I wonders" that can be answered in upcoming posts:
1. Who do you look like?
2. Will your eyes stay blue?
3. Do you like baths or not? Mommy should have taken a bath with you here - you were so disgruntled at the beginning of your bath that you peed on me! It's ok, I love you anyway.
Things you love this week: Everything DADDY, Mommy's singing (especially Jesus Loves the Little Children), story time, cuddling, your swing and your pacifier!
Love you more...
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