My Right-Hand Girl

For the last 29 weeks, you have been my trusty right-hand baby girl.  Most people refer to their right-hand man, but I'm comfortable calling you my right-hand girl.  

right-hand man noun [singular]:  the person who you regularly depend on to help you.  

I know the definition is intended to refer to someone who helps you in your work life, but you have brought new meaning to the phrase "help you".  

You have helped me realize what it's like to sacrifice (and want to), live for another person before yourself and love unlike I ever have before.  Before you existed, I loved to shop for clothes until my closet busted at the seams, have my nails done every weekend, and daddy and I would go out to eat for almost every meal.  Since you have been on your way, we have sacrificed our regular lifestyle in order to prepare for you. 
We bought a home that you will be proud of and one in which you will be comfortable and cozy.  We stay home and eat $1 Totino's pizzas almost every night and I can't remember that last time my cuticles looked this bad!  But I wouldn't trade any of it for the World.  We live for you now and every decision we make is for your best interest. We do everything we can so that we can provide you with everything you deserve - the best of everything because we love you unlike any other.  It's amazing.  

Another reason I refer to you as my right-hand girl is because my right side is where you reside 99% of the time.  You are a tiny creature of habit.  A homebody.  Just like your daddy and me.  When I touch my belly, I can always feel your tiny feet or little bottom poking out on the right side.  You wiggle and kick just like you should, but you've only once wandered to the left side of my belly once, and you stayed there for about five minutes.    

Your daddy and I talk about how funny it is that your personality and preferences are so blatant even while you're occupying my belly.  The Barad side of your family (especially your Grandpa) is the epitome of "creature of habit".  He says you know what you like, you've found your routine and safe place, and you're going to stick to it.  We don't blame you.  

This is a picture of your daddy from this morning.  I caught him in your room before he left for work.  He didn't realize that I took this picture.  He's so precious waiting for you, Brier. He just loves being where you will be soon and I think this picture is nothing short of Heavenly.  He sits in your empty room often and listens to our favorite music, mostly Dave Matthews, and picks out a book to read to you every night from your book basket. You truly have been blessed with the most amazing dad.  I always prayed for my babies to have a daddy as wonderful as mine, and you most definitely will.  

Love you more...

(Great) Memaw

I want you to know about all of the grandparents and great-grandparents who love you, so I will write to you about each and every one.  Today is February 16 and I thought it would be most appropriate to write about my Memaw first since she left us to go to Heaven on February 13, 2010.  Her name is Lydia Lanell. 

She was and continues to be such an incredibly important part of my life and I know she would have been a huge part of yours as well.  She loved harder than anyone I have ever known.  She was faithful.  She was fiesty.  She made the best chocolate pies while she listened to rock music.  She was absolutely one of a kind.  She is your great Memaw, not just because of how family trees work, but because she was certainly great - more than great.  She was mine and grandma's very best friend. 

Memaw is grandma's mom and you can tell just by looking.  Everyone always commented on how much we all look alike.  I haven't met you yet, Brier, but when I dream about you, you look just like me and grandma and Memaw, too.  I hope that you have Memaw's beautiful deep dimples.  I think they were so prominent because she smiled and laughed all of the time.

We loved to drink coffee together while sitting at her dining room table in her old house, listen to music (she especially loved Roy Orbison, John Anderson, Elvis Presley, and ZZ Top), lovingly whisper about how bossy your grandma is, go to Wal-Mart, decorate for and celebrate Christmas and literally laugh until we cried.  Here's a picture of just one of the numerous times we laughed until we cried.  

Her favorite place to eat was Golden Corral and grandma took this picture.  Memaw was talking about how much people were eating at the buffet and being kind of tacky about it actually, but it was so funny.  She had the most unique sense of humor, definitely not your typical memaw - she would do or say just about anything to get a laugh.  The man behind us in this picture kept covering his ears because we were laughing too loud.  I can't wait to tell you about other times and show you videos we have of us too.

She was more proud of me than anyone else I think I have ever encountered in my life.  I remember all of the times that I would go to visit her and she would beg me to go see her friends so she could show them how "beautiful" I was.  Most of the time I looked just like the picture above and I was definitely not something to brag about.  But, she believed with all of her might that I was the most beautiful, smartest, funniest person in the world.  She was always on my side, too. No matter what.  I know you and grandma will have a similar bond.  I am so blessed because of the relationship I had with my memaw.  It's a love like no other.  Her love was unconditional.

I wish more than anything that she could be here on Earth to meet you.  But, I know she is looking down on us from Heaven and she is without a doubt beaming her most beautiful smile because she knows you and she loves you.  

We used to call ourselves "three peas in a pod" and to be honest, Grandma and I have felt completely lost without her for the years she has been gone, but we are looking forward to having our "third pea" back.  You're our third sweet pea.  

Love you more...

Bookworm Baby

Today we went shopping for books for you.  Your daddy and I have always loved the going to the bookstore, getting coffee and reading together.  Barnes & Noble in Highland Village is our favorite place to shop for books.  We know how important it is to read to you and we can't wait until you're here sitting in between us with a little book in your tiny hands.  I don't know if you can hear us, but all of the articles I read say you can.  I signed up for a teacher's account on Scholastic today, so your library will just keep growing & growing!  Here are your newest ones.  

Love you more... 

Your Nursery

I wish you were here to witness the care your dad is taking in terms of every detail of your room.  He is careful that every picture is centered perfectly on the wall, mounted carefully so you're safe and that everything looks perfect for you.  Here are a couple of pictures of your room, made with love, just for a beautiful girl like you.

Everything that has been placed in your room was chosen with care.  I love all of the pieces that make your room quaint and unique.  Your great Uncle Jim made your letters with great Grandpa Barad's jigsaw and we painted them (your Grandma and Grandpa Barad and me).  

Your daddy also made you a beautiful painting that he scrutinized over for days with the lyrics to what he thinks is your favorite song.  He plays it almost every night and puts the phone on my belly so that you can hear it.  You usually start rumbling around and it makes him so proud to make you happy.  What a beautiful song!

Love you more...

Grandparent Love

Most people wait until they are about 12 weeks pregnant to tell anyone about a new baby, but your daddy couldn't wait!  I told your dad about you on a Wednesday and he couldn't wait to get home to Burkburnett that weekend to tell your grandparents about you.  We went to Poppy Steve's first and he opened a package of fried pies we brought him from Tommy's Tamales to help him cure his sweet tooth.  In the package, we included a onesie.  When he saw that his son was going to be a daddy - he was so excited!  

Then we went to Grandpa and Grandma Barad's house.  We brought a package for Grandpa, too.  He opened a bag that had a Beavis & Butthead t-shirt inside it (I'll tell you more about Beavis & Butthead later, when you're older).  Inside his package was a onesie, too!  Grandpa Barad thought your onesie was a pair of underwear!  He's so silly. We hugged once he realized what he thought was a pair of underwear was actually a tiny outfit for you.  We went to eat dinner at El Mejicano to celebrate your upcoming arrival. Grandpa carried your onesie in his back pocket all weekend.  

Grandma Barad wasn't a bit surprised.  I didn't tell her about you at all beforehand, but she admits that she thought she knew you were on your way.  It's weird what a bond me and your grandma have.  I don't even have to tell her things - she just knows.  I pray that we are the same way.  Here's picture of your precious Grandpa and Poppy!  You are a such lucky girl.

Love you more...

How I Told Your Daddy about You...

I took a pregnancy test on August 27, 2013.  It was the third day of school.  Your dad kept asking me when I was going to take a test and I told him that I would "do it tomorrow". He was so excited about the thought of a baby and I could hardly contain my excitement when I took the test and it read "pregnant".  I don't know how I held in the secret that day. I could hardly wait to tell your dad about you.  I thought all day about how I would tell him as I taught the rowdy fifth graders in my class.  I decided after school to go buy a pair of Converse All-Stars, like your dad likes to wear and give them to him when he got home to our apartment in Grapevine.  Aren't they cute?  

When dad got home that evening, I told him that I had received a strange gift from a student that day.  He opened the box of shoes and looked confused until he read "You're a Daddy" that I had written on a Post-It and put inside the lid of the box.  He couldn't believe it!  We went to celebrate you and our new family at Fireside Pies that night.  

Love you more...

Your Sonograms

One of my favorite things about being pregnant and carrying you has been the opportunity to watch you grow. Each time we go to the doctor, we hope for a sonogram, just so we can see you.  Your dad tells me not to get frustrated when a sonogram isn't necessary - I just love seeing you.  Here are your pictures!  I think you are the most beautiful person in the world.  

6 weeks

 8 weeks

 12 weeks

 16 weeks

 26 weeks

Weren't you tiny at 6 weeks?  I will never forget the first time I heard your heart beat.  I couldn't fathom how something so tiny could have such a strong heart.  For as long as I can remember, I have always dreamed of having a babygirl of my own.  You now know how close me and my mom are and I wanted a relationship like that with a little girl.  As soon as I found out I was pregnant with you, I just knew you were a boy.  I think I was protecting myself and my feelings in case you were a boy.  Of course I would have been happy with a little boy, I just wanted a lifelong best friend and I know I'll have one in you.  Your daddy tells me that he prayed for us to have a little girl because he knew how important it was to me.  

At 8 weeks, you had grown so much!  We thought you were so big.  Your heart was beating 174 beats per minute.  

You'll notice on the 12 week picture, the sonogram technician predicted you were a boy.  Your name was going to be Bennett Allen.  We are hoping to use that name later, for your little brother.  

Aunt Cindy did your 16 week sonogram.  It was on Thanksgiving Day right after lunch at great Grandma Barad's.  We went to the hospital in Wichita Falls with Grandma and Grandpa Barad and Poppy Steve and Grandma Carolyn.  Aunt Cindy spent a long time with me and your daddy and we loved watching you do flips and turns inside my belly!  I'll never forget when she told me that you were a girl.  "You'd better start buying some bows!"  I cried so hard and so did your Grandma Barad.  We were so excited.  Your daddy just smiled and said "I told you so."  This day was one of the happiest ones in my life.  

It was a long time until we saw you again.  Aunt Cindy did your 26 week sonogram and confirmed that you are the little girl that I have dreamed about.  Here's a 3D picture of you, too!  You only allowed us to get one that day.  After we got this picture, you put your hand in front of your face.  I hope you aren't as stubborn as your momma.  Your dad will have his hands full if that's the case.  

Love you more...